Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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