fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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