yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize