Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
