You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
