idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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