Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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