no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
