Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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