Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry my hands just texted you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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