White coat. Heels.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
