Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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