Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
