yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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