if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
