What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
