Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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