i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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