You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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