i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
