how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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