yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
