I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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