I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
