I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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