I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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