I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
false alarm, still single
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