I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
