He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
