guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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