Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
