i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
