i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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