are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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