I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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