Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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