I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Semen is not good for contacts.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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