we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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