guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
