In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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