I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
