so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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