Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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