i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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