Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
