You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
