don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Drake has all the answers
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
