If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
