sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we're making bets on your personal life
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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