Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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