Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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