you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
