How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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