where am i from again
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
