Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
