when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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