I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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