just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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