I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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