I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
