On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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