Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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