i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
