I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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