Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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